busy busy

These past 2 weeks have been pure hell for me.. i dont think i've ever relaxed for more than an hour :( but im glad everything is over.. well at least for now.

School has been a bitch to me, honestly. after the first wave of midterms past i didnt even have time to goof off or anything, i just kept going. going, studying nonstop. i managed to go to the gym 4 times a week during that time, but now its like what the hell is a gym... no freaking time whatsoever. last week, i had a math midterm on thursday and a chem midterm the day right after. can you say perfect timing? haha but to be on a happier note, i didnt think i did that bad on them :) i studied my ass off for math, forced myself to read the textbook nonstop for 50000 times even though it wasn't any use. math is seriously really hard now. its not my forte anymore... but i was really motivated to do good on this midterm because i recently received my psych midterm back. Let's just say i don't normally complain about not getting an 80, but my mark was in the 50's. i didnt even have the mood to complain, i just hid in my room for the whole day and wondered why im so retarded. seriously i've never gotten 50s in my life.. I was so MADDD.. but digging up the past won't lead to any pleasant future. so the old saying goes, TRY HARDER. yeeeeeah.

i wrote my second biology midterm yesterday. it wasnt that bad, but it wasnt that good either. one of my friends described the test as "funny." to be honest i agree 100%. this professor asks the most randomest questions, those that require no thinking but pure memorization. One of the question was if all the DNA in your body were lined up in a straight line, how many trips from mcmaster can it make to the moon? honestly. what the fuck i dont freaking pay 16000$ a year to learn about dumb fucking facts like that. to make it worse, i had to write a bio lab FORMAL report right after. i procrastinated that lab so bad, cause i honestly wanted to give my full attention on studying for the bio midterm. the result? walking back from Les Prince residence to Bates at 7am in the morning! in the freezing raining weather! awesome. my coughs not getting any better either. THANKS JEN, THANKS JUSTIN. haha i joke.

but yeah, i've been spazzing alot about school.. i kinda sound like a nerd don't i :) (or maybe i am ahah) school is literally my life these days, if it isn't for you, SHAME ON YOU ;( .. i seriously sleep at 5-6 everyday now, working on lab reports and studying the shit out of myself. my sleeping hours are so messed. but then again, i still see ~50 people online at 5am in the morning LOL. i dont even have time to care about my appearance in the morning. i dont fix my hair or put on contacts anymore.. theres just no time (because i always sleep in) i rush to class in hoping i'll make it for the iclicker questions. its a tedious job, but hey i need the marks lol.

i'm going home tomorrow :) haven't been home in 3 weeks.. i hope i can finally catch up in my sleep, and of course i miss my family very much. but im sure they miss me more lol. im too blind in school work to remember i even have a family hahah! no that was definitely a joke hehe. its my dad's birthday this sunday. he's gonna turn... 49? or was it 50 LOL but wow.. my parents are getting old. but hey im in university, it only makes sense. but sometimes i feel that time is moving way too fast... the first half my first year of university is almost over. and soon i will graduate and for sure will miss mcmaster. it's such a vibrant community, i would consider studying my masters here and work as a prof. seriously! haha as if i can :P wow i blabbed so much! one of my good friends told me once, my writing style is not that well structured LOL. i write with my heart, whatever comes out, is whats on the page right now. i dont know if that made sense, or it just sounded too corny? lol anyways. its time for me to sleep. good night.

..

have you ever had the feeling
when you care so much for this person
and in return they do nothing back for you
are they blind? or do they just don't care
cause honestly, this hurts alot...